Four weeks ago, we packed up a van and moved out to East London, into the home we bought together. If you had told me that I would own a home before the age of 30, I wouldn’t have believed you.
After all, it’s a dream that hard work alone can’t guarantee. It’s a dream that not only requires substantial financial means to achieve, but also comes with the prerequisite of limited to no previous debt. It’s a dream that can inspire unease and even fear when you’ve personally experienced the impact of foreclosure on a family. It’s a dream that can feel entirely out of reach when, for your whole life, you’ve only ever imagined doing it alone.
It’s not because I didn’t dream big enough — I had some BIG damn dreams. I dreamed of getting out of Santa Cruz. I dreamed of falling in love with the town and university where I would be the first in my family to get a college degree. I dreamed of living abroad and earning my master’s degree from a university at the forefront of my field. I dreamed of finding a job in London so that I could make a life for myself in a new country. And I dreamed of finding a partner who would want to be by my side, sharing in the inevitable adventures of life.
It took 29 years, but all of my biggest, most extravagant, most seemingly unrealistic dreams have come true. Hard work. Money. Patience. Tears. Fortitude. Time. Support networks. Family. Sheer will. I have needed to dig so freaking deep within myself to get this point…
So, I dreamed big enough… But, I only ever dreamed about what I could achieve on my own. And therefore, I stopped just short of what has been one of the biggest dreams come true of my entire life.
I wouldn’t be writing this from the comfort of my olive green velvet dining chairs in a home that we both adore and cherish were it not for Rory and the support of his incredibly generous family. Because of him… Because of them… we have been afforded this opportunity together.
I realised today that it’s time to let go of my individualistic mindset. It’s time to recognise that I am no longer doing this alone, that I never was alone in in this journey — even when it felt that way. I have always had guidance and support. I have always drawn my strength from an unwavering spiritual source. It has never been all up to me.
Today I am so grateful for the reminder that I am not alone. I am so grateful for my faith and higher power. I am so grateful for my partner and the path we are on. I am so grateful that we are not limited to the dreams we can imagine for ourselves. And I am grateful that I had the opportunity to think and write and share with you today.
xx
Cristina
good morning Tee i happened to go on line this morning and saw your post and just wanted to respond because it made me so great full and inspired to hear someone let alone my own daughter talk and share about love, determination and dependence on a higher power. you and Rory are bound for a wonderful life together with those principles as your guide . I love you so much and can not expresshow grate full and happy it makes me feel that you are who you are and the person you strive to be.
Author
Good morning, Dad. What a nice surprise to get your comment this evening. It brought tears to my eyes :). Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and write such a nice comment. I have some really great role models for family members and I feel really blessed to have grown up in a home that talked about a higher power and role faith plays in shaping how we live from one day to the next. I feel really fortunate to have had the opportunities I have had thus far and I think my hard work is a practical, tangible form of gratitude. But, it felt really good to also acknowledge that through my writing last night. I love you and I hope you come visit us soon.